This time of the year I usually find myself traveling in the liminal spaces and unknown pathways that are sometimes hidden. I listen to the silence that is deep within me. I am forever in awe of the dreamy golden fingers of light that stretch through the shedding trees, beckoning me to enter into the unfolding day with an open heart. As the blue skies fade into lavender, peach, orange, and sepia tones, the silence is broken with the raspy sounds of fallen leaves scuttling before my feet. They spiral around me in the cool, crisp, breezy, breath of ghosts from long ago. Darkness creeps in and pulls away the last light of day, sheltering me in its cloak of midnight blue and ebony sky. With stars to guide me and the moon to light my way, I continue my Pilgrimage along this winding road.
Step by step, breath by breath, I walk. I seek understanding. I long for the connections. I search my depths and hold the lost and discarded pieces of me from long, long ago. I walk with the candle’s flame. Sometimes it is steadfast and bright. Sometimes it wavers. In the darkest of nights, I fear that it may blow out. I take a breath. I keep the faith. I hold gently onto delicate hope, whispering to the flame with my sacred breath. Here, in the in-between, the days grow shorter. The nights grow longer and colder. Yet, we each have a light to guide, comfort, and warm us along the way. That is, if we choose to see it and nourish it.
This has been a long year filled with beauty and horror, beginnings and endings and some shadows that finally saw the light of day. Also, there have been feelings and experiences that were never imagined. As we prepare for a long winter ahead, I encourage you to feel, to cry, to love, to laugh, to grieve, and to scream from your darkest and deepest depths to the outer most edges of the cosmos. Throw your hands, face, and heart up to the sky. Scream. Cry. Release. Pray. Commune. And when you come down, I encourage you to collapse into the retreating energies of the once fertile earth that is still rich in love. There, you can offer your heart’s releasing emotions and energy to the Great Goddess Mother. As the energies pull away from you, remember that everything around you is part of the process and dance of life. Let the Great Mother hold you. Let Her caress you. Let Her help you release the weight that burdens your heart and soul. Allow your wounds to open and receive the healing balm of Her. Here, in the time of fading light, remember this – all that surrounds you is part of the cycles of life. In the time of release, we are balancing and moving within the force of Creation. As hard as it may be, remember that you are not alone. You are here for many wonderous experiences. You are the most perfect vessel for your story to be told. Allow for the experiences to unfold and be written within your heart.
As you walk these liminal passageways, discover the pieces of who you are. Understand that you have many dreams to explore in ways that you have not discovered yet. We are here to learn and love, laugh and experience, and to teach and create as we make our connections with each other and ourselves.
I understand that I am everything and nothing. I am the earth, the stars, and the energies that bind us all together in this web of life. I am a seeker. I am a wanderer. I am an explorer. Traveling in this sea of beauty and chaos, I understand that the more I learn the less I know. As I embrace the unknown that is laid out before me, I remind myself to take a deep breath in this present moment. I am fully aware that nothing is guaranteed, and take a step forward once again. I am grateful for this path before me that creates, births, heals, destroys, and creates once again. It certainly is not easy. Yet, it is one that I would never trade for the world. I am humbled to walk this path and honored to share it with you.
May you travel well and may grace walk beside you.
Be well and take care,
Renee Bedard
All photos by Renee Bedard
The Whispering Crow 